Coming Soon
Team X
Pre-tournament favourites Team X, face a team on the down in the street gang. Led by Garetho Short,
the X have won there opening two games, quite comfortably disposing of the tangos and the israelites. There strong
line up will mean a hard game for the gang and in previous meetings the gang have lost on both occasions. Goalkeeper
Short has assembled his team after a trial took place on the lawn outside spar (moorclose). He selected a side that is
arguably the yr 12 select, they include various internationals including Cameroonian Ade Holliday-Holliday, Swede Miko
Sewelssen, Peruvian Twins Anti and Adee Heskettallo and England youth stars Short and Kirkbride. They will also be boosted
by the news that Holliday-Holliday will be available after a charity visit to his homeland to raise aids
awareness proved a success, Ade is currently the 3rd richest cameroonian after Joe Nagu-Harga (Peoples Champ) and Eric Djemba-Djemba
(Gangster/Mobster/Footballer/Porn Star). The X-Men are favourites to win but with news that mascot Wolverine has passed away
there morale will be dented, however it should be a barnstorming, helterskelter, ding dong, gung ho, titanic tusstle. Thank
You x x x x x
Avid Merrions Fanjita Appreciation Society FC
The new team in the comp the society will want to forget there opening game, a 4-3 loss to the losers
that are passion tango. They will however be in for an even tougher battle today against the street gang, and with the absence
of Peacock and McMullenstein things could get nasty. Formed by a loving orang utang campaigner MoShep after realising he was
without a club, the team quickly started recruiting and they are made up of a open minded pervert, a DJ, a wild boar and other
unemployed gangers. Lets hope we have a jolly good game.
Captain Bish's Israelites
From the dusty lands to the east the Israelites will be hoping to build on their strong finish of
last season. Founded near a watering hole in the Arabian desert by a band of travelling circus performers. They still stay
true to their roots regulary entertaining crowds and childrens parties with their lion taming act.
Barnsey has returned from the Swedish Highlands where he spent the winter break rubbing olive based
lotion onto the Viking Gods and mass producing yellow snow. All others spent Christmas with their families.
The Israelites see themselves as a well oiled unit rather than a group
of individuals and have regular training exercises to enhance their teamwork.
The team have made no official new signings since last year, instead drafting in a few new faces from
their vast circus squadron of 42 men, five lions, 1 walrus and a homemade spanish omlette. This devious tactic went unnoticed
last year as new players turned up every game even though the rules stated they were only allowed 7. It will
probably go unnoticed again this time around as the organisers seem more interested in making posters and binge drinking.
Also due to health and safety issue a new rule has been imposed by the 6FFA. This states thou
shalt not weareth cycling gloves, headgear or trousers/long pants.com
This team regulary breaks all of these rules, especially the gloves one. Without fail the Scottish
international McAllister wears some toxic yellow gloves every game. Scientists are unaware why he does this but have guessed
that he has some sort of sub-tropical hand disease which he caught after shoving his fingers up elephants rectums during his
time at the circus.
There are other players on this team and they all wear headgear but I am bored of typing so they will
go unmentioned for now.
I can see the Israelites using their deep faith to enhance their fortunes at this year tournement.
I am sure our game with them will be a jolly good old fashioned showdown.
Avante!
Passion Tangos
Coached by Dave Angel, the tangos will be looking to avoid another whitewash of defeats. They have
strengthened this year by adding players such as Frederico Smith and Daniello Flectini. Unfortunatly they have lost the services
of Adam French who has decided to join new team, Avid Merrions Fanjita Appreciation Society (AMFAS), a huge loss however with
stars such as Iron Man Baker, 35 times Russian International who has been a member of the side since the years of the iron
curtain, powerful at the back, however his attacking abilities need some help. Juan Pablo Ramgel is another sleeping giant,
yet to find the form that earned him his 4 caps for colombia, pacey and enthusiasm is what he is about, can knock in a couple
of goals as well. Chuff is the main man in the side, the legendry 'King of Sixth Form' was raised with baboons and quickly
emerged as a leader in the jungle, his survival skills are essential to the tangos success, if he shines there is a chance
of some glory, Paul Smiley is undoubtably the 'Sex God' of the team, ex-popstar Smiley decided to quit pop to play for the
tangos after a troublesome year with the ribenas, his boyish good looks could motivate the rest of the team, however off the
field issues such as clothing ranges, pop deals and movie roles have restricted the player that could have went to the top.
Geoffrey Chilcott is the teams hardman, sent off 4 times last year. His disipline weakens his international hopes and has
yet to make his mark internationally, somerset county star whos ex-darting career can only benefit the team, lets hope he
keeps on the field instead of off it. Finally the new men, Frederico Smith, Jamacian International who is virtually unknown
and Daniello Flectini, veteran italian international of 77 caps, including 3 euro championships and 2 world cups and 2 player
of the year awards, if he can keep his jism to himself, he will be the tournaments top man, unfortunatly pool seems to be
his interest now, but he will be keen to lose the 'has been' title, hopefully he will and recreate the superstar antics of
the past. So there is the squad, they have been on numerous team building exercises including trips to the zoo, the supermarket,
and noahs ark childrens home. If the team gels they will prove to be a nemesis of the street gang but with the lack of flair
and creativity they will find it hard to break down the stubborn Street Gang defence, if Chuff and Ramgel shine however, they
will threaten the gang, unfortunatly i cannot see this happening. Good Luck to them though, Shabba x x x x
